Dear Friend,
I am not a big fan of Lady Gaga. But I just watched her peformance for Superbowl and I was mindblown. I have never seen anyone dance, sing and entertain flawlessly. That brought me to her song “Milion Reasons.” If you haven’t listened to it, you should. It’s different. It’s deep. It’s beautiful. Because she decided to be vulnerable.
Speaking of vulnerability, today I made my students present their work in front. I knew they would be scared, but I didn’t expect them to be that scared. They were terrified that they kept pushing everyone in their group to present. They kept bugging each other and I could feel my veins tighten. I took a deep breath and told them “It’s okay. Go and sit back in your places..” I lectured them about teamwork and that regardless of their product everyone should be accountable for it and that includes presenting.
At that moment I realize I fail to understand that this is their first time ever presenting in front. They’re only 13 years old. I can’t remember when I first presented. But I know everytime before I present I’d be shitting bricks. Yeah. even now. Although technically I kinda present everyday. Poor children. I wished I was a little bit more kind today.
I mean, I will be 27 this year. I realize the older I get, the harder is it to put myself in my student’s shoes. And for me to put myself in their shoes requires me to vulnerable. Allowing myself to be vulnerable is not easy. It demands me to break down my walls and dig deep into my fears, convincing myself that I have overcome it. When you’re dealing with children and teenagers, they need to feel safe with you. They need to know you understand. Once you’ve won them, they will bloom like little dasies.
Nevertheless, I have 10 more months to journey with them. I hope to pave a safe path, that they may someday develop skills and confident in speaking in a crowd. I hope they too will learn to be vulnerable. Because the thing about vulnerability, it is a gift. It takes courage to open this gift and skills to stay with it and once you have mastered it, you too can bloom where you’re planted.
Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith
But baby, I just need one good one
Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one
When I bow down to pray
I try to make the worse seem better
Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one, good one
Tell me that you’ll be the good one, good one
Baby, I just need one good one to stay…
Dramedies of a Teacher 