Missed me?

Its the weekend. Yes, welcome to Johore, where Friday and Saturday are our weekends and we work on Sunday. (Don’t worry, 12 months and I’m still not use to it). I am in the midst of doing my weekly lesson plan, but I thought of clearning my some space in my brain by telling you something that happened this week….

See I am the class teacher of the weakest class in form 2. Now unlike every other class, this particular class is special. Almost 95% of them are the ones I taught last year. 70% of them, I taught for 8 periods a week. (1 period is 30 mins. That means, a total 240 mins per week). Because they know me so well, the “first impression” doesn’t work on them. That means every time I have class with them, I will start perspiring, I will have an increase of heart-rate and I will have to ensure I am emotionally and mentally stable to face them. Now they’re not monsters. They’re sweethearts. But they are all 14 year olds, trying to find a place in this world. They’re confused. They’re struggliing. They are also  loud. LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD.

It was two days ago, where we had our ko-kurikulum registration. I would love to tell you a miracle happened and everyone was obediently seated and listened to me. Nope. It was chaotic. It was a nightmare.

I had their name list prepared. I gave clear instructions. I wrote all the sports and clubs for them choose. In the beggining, it was smooth sailing. Halfway through the storm started. I had at least 8 students crowding around me. Two of them were playing football with a bottle. A group of students at the back almost got into a fight. At the same time I heard about 10 times…

“Cikgu!… Cikgu, saya nak masuk kelab komputer…” ….”Cikguuuu!! Saya nak sama dengan dia!”….. “Cikgu saya nak pergi tandas!!!!” …..”Cikgu,…. baju cikgu tak betul!!!”

I stood up and I wanted to scream at the top of my voice. But nothing came out. I had lost my voice. I ransacked my bag for my bottle. I had a little water left, about 50ml. Finished it and still I couldn’t find my voice. With a cracked voice, and teary eyes (because I was choking out of air), I said, “Saya kira sehingga 10, duduk tempat awak!”… Take note, counting always worked. The scrambled to their seats and I continued, “If I see anyone off their seat, I will find you and I will follow you back to your house today!”…Good thing about being a class teacher, you have their address and their parent’s number.

The class was quiet for about 5 mins. Well that was the longest.

Once I was done, I dismissed them. I sat down. I was exhausted. I was helpless. I said a silent pray,

“Lord, how am I to take care of them for the next 12 months, when I myself am in a mess..”

That was probably the worst day of the week. But hey, don’t worry, we have 50 more weeks to compare it with.

Why did I choose to tell you that? Because I am struggling. I want to record these struggles. It’s how I can grow with my struggles.

Anyway, here are my to-do task for the next two days:

  1. Complete Weekly Lesson Plan
  2. Complete Content for my Lesson Plans
  3. Complete my offer letter and contracts for my kids
  4. Design seating arrangement for my class
  5. Visit HARRIS for Sejarah reference book and more files
  6. Clean my room and the house
  7. Cook for the week
  8. Iron for the week
  9. Spend time with housemates
  10. Visit my happy place
  11. Pray

Have a great weekend!


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